- DEVIL'S SKIN - (2022)
Stills from - Devil's Skin, 2022 -
- DESCRIPTION -
Fire meets sensuality in the two and a half minute short 'Devil's Skin'. This experimental film was created during a time where I explored my own sexual freedom. Throughout the short piece, I am seen posing in various positions, flaunting my skin, and embracing the body I inhabit. Warm tones are filtering throughout the film in a VHS-styled format. The moon is represented as sexual awakenings - when arousal reaches its peak. Devil's Skin is an experimental piece about sexual acceptance, appreciation, and liberation.
- ARTIMA - (2022)
Stills from - ARTIMA, 2022 -
- DESCRIPTION -
'ARTIMA' - a conceptual art-piece featuring a slowed-down version of Brian Eno's "77 Million Paintings". ARTIMA takes you through an artist’s mind, one who has reached a psychotic break in the midst of unbecoming. There’s always this voice of doubt that we all have inside of our minds. For some, this voice overpower who you’re capable of becoming - causing madness to surface. This film creation was very intuitive, and more improvised than any of my work. It was created in less than a day in a studio basement apartment.
- NIGHTMARE FILM - (2022)
Stills from - Nightmare Film, 2022 -
- DESCRIPTION -
Back in March, I experienced a wildy specific nightmare of my father stalking me within the night. I could not find a way to shake this vision out of the mind’s eye. It became the core of thought in my day to day life since then. I thought about using the traumatic dream in a creative project. I thought that by using my traumas, and turning them into creative work - it would help heal my inner wounds I’ve carried with me for a while now.
Nightmare Film opens with a floating silhouette of myself off the pavement. Anticipating the following scene of switches of tree limbs that were used as punishment growing up if my siblings and I were in trouble. We would get beaten by them, after my parents would pick the leaves off. I wanted to center certain parts of my traumatic upbringing by focusing on these items. Clips of different moon phases are shown to represent the cycles through time.
A silhouette of a face is shown laughing, representing the feeling of being “cursed” as if someone is setting up a plan for one's downfall in life. My father had us study the Quran and use prayer beads together in a circle for a short-period of time. In the film, I use the actual prayer beads he called “Zickel Beads'' as a significant symbol throughout the film.
The Inner-Child scene comes in quickly after I’m seen nude flickering the lights. I stare in shock, facing the right with the prayer beads hanging from my mouth. The following moon-scene speeds up time until I am facing the left as an adult. Facing the opposite direction back at my inner-child in a more mature expression – representing the trauma I have carried into my adult life. The eye of the aspen is quickly shown as a symbol of being watched wherever I go. Turning to a chilling scene of me violently choking myself with the beads still hanging from my mouth. As the scene plays, I’m left facing upward with my eyes closed and the beads still hanging from my mouth. I’m then shown with the beads in my left hand against the wall, trying to hold myself up. Desperately trying to find any form of control over my own beliefs in this life, I then fall back down.
The next scene shows myself shaking with my mouth wide open and the prayer beads on a cushion in front of me. This represents being forced to live a life that was chosen for me. Not having the freedom to think for myself.
Next is a small clip of the shed doors looking out from the inside. In the nightmare, my father peeked in and out through the center to make sure I didn’t take notice. I decided not to portray him in the act because I wanted to show the absence of his being today – only the trauma of him lives in my mind. The scene switches over to a faceless body as the sound of strong winds soar in the background. I wanted to symbolize the deep-rooted feeling of my existence being erased as best as I could understand what it would look like. I remain faceless throughout the rest of the film. The final scene is the backside of my head with my arms reaching up – trying to hold myself up before I am consumed entirely by my father’s threat to erase my being.
- DYING WING - (2024)
- Stills from - Dying Wing, 2024 -
- DESCRIPTION -
Dying Wing is a hauntingly visual experience. Inspired by one of my favorite childhood television series, Courage the Cowardly Dog, I took footage from parts of my life living in South Carolina and Colorado and decorated bits of their nature to look like mythical life in the open world. Nature has always influenced my work, and my way of living. It provides comfort, and expands my creativity. Dying Wing is about the fall of an artist’s journey. As an artist who often struggles with depression, it can be difficult navigating a world of constant suffering. As an empath, it’s easy to feel these low vibrations around you - so much that you can become that energy.
- FOLLOW THE SUN - (2024)
- Stills from - Follow the Sun, 2024 -
- DESCRIPTION -
Follow the Sun is a psychedelic dreamscape that holds many memories of my past, and is one of the leading singles off of my fifth self-produced album Pneuma-Nexus - a tribute album to the late pioneer of New Age music, Iasos. Most of my visual film-work uses a great deal of layering of footage, and that comes from many of my personal experiences of using psychedelic medicine. Throughout this film, you have the center-eyed view of two suns - one above, and one below, mirroring each other. The original sun footage was taken at a special beach on the southern east coast in South Carolina called Sullivans Island. The image of this specific sunset sticks with me, as it was the last time I visited the island before completing this film. I believe that this sunset is the foundation of the ongoing memories following those moments, and it provides hope and comfort for when following hardship is to come.
- ANGELS OF DAWN - (2024)
- Stills from - Angels of Dawn, 2024 -
- DESCRIPTION -
Angels of Dawn is the hearts artery of my fifth self-produced album Pneuma-Nexus - a tribute album to the late pioneer of New Age music, Iasos. I decided going into the creation of this album and film, that I would capture something close enough of a project that could both sound and visualize a piece that Iasos and I would've planned together. Angels of Dawn is our celestial body of physical work. Trees have always been my mentors throughout my human experience, and I believe that they are timeless angels rooted into the grounds of this Earth. Trees hold a countless amount of different stories. I've spent plenty of time in sitting meditation alongside these trees who I call my friends - and have always listened to what they've provided to me, energetically and spiritually. Looking closely at the mirrored footage of these beings during the watching of this film - you can make out silhouettes of what I call the Angels. In the last few scenes of this film, I am dressed in the human form of these angels who have visited me throughout time - sending messages and guidance, re-grounding my feet so that I know my place in this life. Angels are all around us. They are the trees who help us breathe, they are the voices that guide you through life.
The human Angel scenes were recorded at the Rocky Mountain Arsenal National Wildlife Refuge, in Colorado.
- MAY NINTH - (2024)
- Stills from - May Ninth, 2024 -
- DESCRIPTION -
May Ninth is the first single to come off of my sixth studio album "vVv" - A reverie of memories created over a decade of the closest family I know.
- TIME REMEMBERED - (2024)
- Stills from - Time Remembered, 2024 -
- DESCRIPTION -
A short visual of the third song to come from my album, vVv. The way that i process looks a lot like this - fragmented colors attached to sound, small details in the form of memories that caught my eye while fetching for air, flashes of light glazing over my vision. Time Remembered is the journey that i am constantly wandering through, and the contemplation on life never ends.
- THE WAY THROUGH - (2025)
- Stills from - The Way Through, 2025 -
- DESCRIPTION -
The Way Through is a film about inner and outer transcendence, acceptance, and revival. It is also the opening track on my album Lungs of the Ocean. I wanted to create a more conceptual film piece to tell a little bit of my story as a transgender artist finding my way. In the beginning of this movie, I am seen holding a veiled mask with a red piece of jewelry falling from the eyes - that piece of jewelry represents tears of hurt, and the mask itself symbolizes the mask I've worn to hide my truth as a trans person. In the first scene, you see me removing the mask and revealing another veil covering my face - this is where I am showing my true self to the open world.
In the following scene, I am walking toward the trees who are represented as my spiritual guides - I then begin to break free from the chrysalis, and undergo a celestial experience where I become the spirit who has been within my human self. Learning how to keep my balance in an unfamiliar world. I am lost, disoriented, but I am not alone. The guides are all around me, as I run through the woods in search of a place of belonging. I reach out to the sky, and find that peace within myself. There is no more hiding. I exist no matter who doesn't understand, or who doesn't see me as who I am in this life.
The Way Through is an instructional guide on accepting your experience as it is. Meditation has taught me to accept even the more difficult thoughts that comes to mind by simply acknowledging them, and allowing them to pass - just as I have done with my own journey of human life.
Nothing can ever kill you in a way that matters.
- ENLUDE EU - (IN WORKS)
- Stills from - ENLUDE EU -
- DESCRIPTION -
- GOLD DUST - (IN WORKS)
- Stills from - GOLD DUST DOCUMENTARY -
- DESCRIPTION -
An intimate and home-movie style documentary following the iconic drag artist mX nX: The non-binary Stevie Nicks of Denver, Colorado.
